this is the year of lynn guppy!!!

It has come to my attention that the current beloved Mayor of moe.ville, one G.I. Joe, is nothing but a LYING LIAR. The incumbant has been milking the sympathy vote since the beginning of his reign of terror. Joe's leg is not broken at all- JOE IS A FAKER.

Not only is his leg fine- but he has also been financing swanky getaways with moe.ville citizens' tax money (ear-marked for nicer port-a-johns and potable water tanks). And if that's not bad enough, he has also been consorting with a certain Texan elitist conservative. Yes, Mayor G.I. Joe is one evil mofo!!! See for yourself in these disturbing and revealing photographs (click the thumbnails for a terrible jolt of the fear).

2/11/02, Aspen
7/25/02, Bali
Undisclosed Location
So... Why Vote Lynn?

6 of the 13 points...

1) Overzealous security guards will be slapped with Civil Lawsuits every time they illegally frisk female concert-goers. (See Ammendment IV of the U.S. Constitution). They will then be subject to a Panamanian style drug seizure search complete with canola oil and a mule.

2) People who bring their dogs to moe.down: will have the dogs taken away and given to more deserving owners and they (the owners) will be tied to a car in the parking lot for the duration of moe.down weekend (despite any and all weather conditions).

3) All Snow-Ridge employees responsible for the cleaning and sanitizing of the bathrooms will be given the daily kudos that they deserve.

4) Carrot Top will not be allowed at moe.down nor anywhere near the vicinity of Turin, NY. Any breach of this restraining order will result in physical violence towards the offender. The candidate will not be held liable for any vigilantism amongst the masses, including those who think they are a species of deer on a romp through the woods.

5) Those who leave more than just footprints will be savagely harrassed and possibly tarred & feathered...

6) Thieves that make their way into moe.down will be publicly punished in the proper manner: a bastinado platform and stocks will be set up next to the moe.down-bridge solely for this purpose. These scum sucking cheats need to be taught a lesson.

el herno
Any issues can be taken up with my Campaign Manager, El Herno.